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Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Quite the weekend

I went home this past weekend. My mother turned 60. I interviewed for a job. Friendships shifted. Some refreshed. Some ended. Overall, it was a good time. The cheerleader on the flight back that I sat next to summed it up well when she asked for her drink. "Can I get an AMF?" Of course, no, she couldn't, but I knew how she felt. With the plane flying away, AMF indeed.

I left the Bay Area beat tired, happy, contented, and unbelievably frustrated. Tired of the days events. There were no days off on my days off. I don't sleep in anymore. Never make it past 830. Happy with the time spent with family and friends. Contented with the finality I experienced. Frustrated with being treated as the same breakable and obsessed heart I once was. I understand, the status quo of my emotional attachments falling apart was once the reliable and excessive turn of defense and pain. It's not any longer. I'm too ambivalent. I'm only worried about my friendships I care to sustain.

Portland is _____, but the comfortable people I've known here are soon to depart for over a year to go abroad. Change is coming again. I've been here for one year to get comfortable and I think I'm ready for the situation to change.

And I'm out of energy. I'm just spent. No real sentences here.

But you. Nice to talk to you again. It's been a while.

5 comments:

Herding Cats said...

I think we are all in a weird transition phase of our lives. Are our 20s meant to be so tumultuous?

Sadly, I think so.

Herding Cats said...

Tumultuous? Did I make that word up?

Ashley Clark said...

This is exactly the way I feel when I go home to D-ville. A vacation, but not, and then it's back to work. Sheesh.

AnnEE said...

ohhh, a clark found you on the web. this is exciting.

i always have so many unanswered questions after reading your blog.

Dave said...

Tumultuous....Yes. Definitely is a real word. But if you think that you made it up when you were writing it you did make it up. It just so happens that the word did exist with exactly the meaning you thought it did. Take that, dictionary.